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PAGE THREE
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January 20, 1930
Conscious listening to the inner voice
Living in the atmosphere of Islam is proving --thus far --a
tremendous spiritual stimulus. Mohammed is helping me. I have no more
intention of giving up Christianity and becoming a Muhammadan than I had
twenty years ago, but I find myself richer for the Islamic experience of
God.
Islam stresses the will of God. It is supreme. We can not
alter any of His mighty decrees. To try to do so means annihilation.
Submission is the first and last duty of man.
That is exactly what I have been needing in my Christian life.
Although I have been a minister and a missionary for fifteen years, I
have not lived the entire day of every day in minute by minute effort to
follow the will of God. Two years ago a profound dissatisfaction led me
to begin trying to line up my actions with the will of God about every
fifteen minutes or every half hour. Other people to whom I confessed
this intention said it was impossible. I judge from what I have heard
that few people are really trying even that. But this year I have
started out trying to live all my waking moments in conscious listening
to the inner voice, asking without ceasing, "What, Father, do you desire
said? What, Father, do you desire done this minute?"
It is clear that this is exactly what Jesus was doing all day every
day. But it is not what His followers have been doing in very large
numbers.
January 26,
1930
Open your Soul and entertain the glory of God
You who will read these letters will know that I am here
exploring two lands which for me are new. One of them is within my own
soul, the other is in the soul of the Moros.
. . . . . .
For the past few days I have been experimenting in a more complete
surrender than ever before. I am taking by deliberate act of will,
enough time from each hour to give God much thought. Yesterday and today
I have made a new adventure, which is not easy to express. I am feeling
God in each movement, by an act of will--willing that He shall direct
these fingers that now strike this typewriter--willing that He shall
pour through my steps as I walk--willing that He shall direct my words
as I speak, and my very jaws as I eat!
You will object to this intense introspection. Do not try it, unless
you feel dissatisfied with your own relationship with God, but at least
allow me to realize all the leadership of God I can. I am disgusted with
the pettiness and futility of my unled self. If the way out is not more
perfect slavery to God then what is the way out? Paul speaks of our
liberty in Christ. I am trying to be utterly free from everybody, free
from my own self, but completely enslaved to the will of God every
moment of this day.
. . . . . .
We used to sing a song in the church in Benton which I liked, but
which I never really practiced until now. It runs:
"Moment by moment I'm kept in His love;
Moment by moment I've life from above;
Looking to Jesus till glory doth shine;
Moment by moment, 0 Lord, I am Thine."
It is exactly that "moment by moment," every waking moment,
surrender, responsiveness, obedience, sensitiveness, pliability, "lost
in His love," that I now have the mind--bent to explore with all my
might. It means two burning passions: First, to be like Jesus. Second,
to respond to God as a violin responds to the bow of the master.
In defense of my opening my soul and laying it bare to the public
gaze in this fashion, I may say that it seems to me that we really
seldom do anybody much good excepting as we share the deepest
experiences of our souls in this way. It is not the fashion to tell your
inmost thoughts, but there are many wrong fashions, and concealment of
the best in us is wrong. I disapprove of the usual practice of talking
"small talk" whenever we meet, and holding a veil over our souls. If we
are so impoverished that we have nothing to reveal but small talk, then
we need to struggle for more richness of soul. As for me I am convinced
that this spiritual pilgrimage which I am making is infinitely worth
while, the most important thing I know of to talk about. And talk I
shall while there is anybody to listen. And I hunger--O how I hunger!
for others to tell me their soul adventures.
. . . . . .
Outside the window, as I completed the last page, has been one of the
most splendorous sunsets I have ever seen. And these words came singing
through my soul, "Looking to Jesus 'till glory doth shine!" Glory had
been shining all across the sky until everything was crimson. Even the
paper on which I was writing became red with the reflection from the
roseate sky. It was the reflection of my own soul where God had today
been painting his wonderful visions. Is not this marvelous sky a
parable! Open your soul and entertain the glory of God and after a while
that glory will be reflected in the world about you and in the very
clouds above your head.
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